so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”
the dad joke to end all dad jokes
oh my god I’m laughing harder than I should be
I love pirates because they have no concept on albeism. oh you have no leg? here have a peg leg. no hand?? well guess we gotta put a hook on that, give those sons of bitches a surprise. Blind in one eye, put an eyepatch on no one fucking cares, youre deaf??? go man the canons you glorious bastard.They dont care if youre disabled bcus as long as you can fuck shit up they literally dont fucking care.
I feel like I should fact check this just in case…
It’s absolutely correct. The one on the left is St. Peter’s Cross. The one on the right is the Satanic Cross.
Why does the satanic cross look like a roller coaster loopty loop?
The ride to hell is a twirly one
Look, Satan; no hands!
Putting the ‘fun’ in Internal Damnation.
Wait isnt it Eternal damnation?
Oh my god
No God, just Satan
Also the inverted cross (on the left) was worn by Vikings to show that were converted into Christianity, so it is in fact a Christian symbol.
And it was also St. Peter who was crucified upside down because he thought he wasn’t worthy to be crucified right side up, like Jesus Christ.
oMFG I just came downstairs and I found my sister with a lighter and I told her she can’t use fire and that it could catch the house on fire. She said that she was doing something important so I asked “what the hell is so important that you need fire for!?” and she told me with serious face ” I am using black magic to summon demons to get the mean girls at my school.” i can’t fucking breathe. I sat and watched her ritual hahahahaha shes fucking 10 years old
This should be a wake-up call to her parents.
She obviously needs help.
Her parents should to talk to her about those mean girls,
and teach her that she can’t summon demons with just candles.
You need at least a pentagram drawn in a perfect circle
with goat or lamb blood,
and a proper incantation from a book of dark magick.
This is great way to to teach your child early on
about geometry and foreign languages.
Good art lesson too. Drawing perfect circles is hard
dOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING
Actually I find this girl fantastic. Ending bullying one curse at a time.
She might want to hold off on summoning demons until she’s a bit more mature but yes curse those fuckers you go, girl
Now hang on, just hang on a moment there. Let’s make one thing clear right now:
There is not a goddamned thing wrong with calling on someone bigger and stronger then you for help if need be.
If that stronger someone just happens to have tentacles and two-foot-long fangs, well, that’s more the problem of certain mean girls, I’d say.
Here kid, i drew you a new pal. You summoned a demon, you got one. Sorry i couldn’t put more time into this sketch but his name is Bill.
I love everything about this post
DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU READ DEATHLY HALLOWS AND FOR A BIT YOU HONESTLY THOUGH HARRY WAS GOING TO DIE AND THAT HE WAS DEAD AND THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD DO IT WAS JUST ENDING YOUR HARRY WHO YOU HAD WATCHED GROW UP FOR SEVEN BOOKS WAS D E A D AND YOU HAD NO CLUE THAT IT WASNT THE END OF EVERYTHING
Me: are these skinny jeans men’s or women’s?
Me: *sticks hands in pockets*
Me: and we have the answer
"black widow is a supporting character" your spine is a supporting structure in your body let’s see how well you do without it
Dean’s expression though
my BROTP right here